I brought it on myself, I really did. Remember when I said I borrowed a book that was a trio of romance novellas to help me pass the time during the study? I actually borrowed two. This was the second one, and it was a LOT better than the first. Like Herpes is a LOT better than say, syphilis (in my mind, I sounded like Jeremy Clarkson then). No, I’m being mean. They’re fun and these ones didn’t make me incandescent with rage.
The good news is, in The World is Too Darned Big, the second of the three novellas, it appears that MaryJanice Davidson has at last discovered the concept of Patents. Unfortunately, she only played lip-service to the concept but hey, it’s a start. Equally unfortunately, she’s still taking a steaming dump over every other aspect of engineering, medicine and physics. I love your work, Davidson, but seriously, stick to the paranormal, where you’re expected to blithely ignore reality.
The Fourteen Million Dollar Poodle, the first of the three novellas (written by Nancy Warren) was actually a lot of fun. Okay, the ‘mystery’ would have been blatantly obvious to a concussed kitten, but the characters were likable and I have a soft spot for dogs. From his aunt, Vince has inherited an utterly pampered poodle called Mimi who only understands French. Vince is a negotiator, so he’s more of a beer and steak kind of man, except Mimi comes with his aunt’s $14 million fortune as well. Luckily, Vince comes across Sophie, a Frenchwoman who used to be a chef but is now a nanny to children about as pampered as Mimi. Desperate, Vince hires her as a dog-sitter. Out of all of them, I think Warren was the only one to actually pay attention to the intended title – her main character is the only one who could be described as a ‘bad boy’ (within the boundaries of the hero of a romance, of course, which means he’s not bad at all) with an ‘expensive toy’ (yep, that’s one pricey mutt).
The third novella, Guilty Pleasures, was written by Karen Kelley, and okay, it had the ‘bad’ boy (again, not that bad), but who knows what that expensive ‘toy’ was. The computer program he’d been developing for the last few years? Way to invalidate his career, writer. The apartment he was living in at the time? That belongs to his sister and new brother-in-law.
Still, the premise was cute enough. At his sister’s wedding, Alex (the computer programmer) spots Kagen and is instantly smitten. Kagen is a successful interior designer and his new brother-in-law’s best friend, but Alex is a slut, so his sister makes him pinky swear to not mess with that. Then sis gives Alex the keys to their new apartment to stay in while they’re on their honeymoon. Meanwhile, her husband is giving the keys to Kagen, so she can surprise the bride with a beautifully decorated home.
Wacky hijinks ensue. Then some more hijinks ensue when they end up challenging each other to some sort of seduction-off (presumably like Zoolander’s walk-off without a catwalk, or David Bowie). Whoever breaks first, loses. Based on what I know about romance novels, nobody ever loses when it comes to sex.
That’s about the gist of it. If you’re looking for an intelligent examination of relations between men and women, move right along. If you’re looking for a distraction from the stench of smoked rodent, well, step on in.