Thursday, November 26, 2009

Perks of the job.

Know what makes a scientist move? Free food. Seriously, a pack of famished wolves spotting a fat lamb with a broken leg does not move faster than a lab full of scientists when the words 'food in the tea room' are uttered.
Normally, these are arranged by companies that want to sell us stuff. They know the only way to get us close enough to hear their pitch, they have to entice us within hearing range with food. This happens about once a month if we're lucky.
If you really want the free stuff, work for a doctor. Pharmaceutical companies give them shit like you would not believe. In the single year I did clinical research I got breakfast twice a week, lunch once a week, every form of stationary known to man, sim card readers, USB sticks, mugs, bags, and, best of all, an all-expenses-paid weekend on the Gold Coast in a 5 star hotel (but only because I was filling in for the PhD student, a doctor herself).
Part of the reason I got this stuff was because my boss, a cardiologist, was adamant that he would have nothing with a drug name on it, and if the sales rep snuck something into his pidgeon hole, he gave it to me. I admired the hell out of him for that stance, even if it meant I had to buy pads of post-it notes on my way to work every month or so. The stationary cupboard at this job had very little that WASN'T covered in a drug name.

So what free shit do you get with your job? (yep, trying out that blog thing where you finish with a question.)


  1. What do I get? You mean besides rage? Well, I get all manner of hats from farming and construction equipment retailers. Like, fourty of them. (which I never wear because I am not a bumpkin nor a farmer) I have also received the most horrendous jackets from those companies but the folks at the local charity were sure happy to have them passed on. Other than that: note pads, pens, liquor (always appreciated) and all manner of useless shit.

  2. Rage is a freebie at every job.
    It's funny what each company choses to brand, isn't it? Outdoors-related companies choose jackets and hats. Drug companies choose coffee mugs and 3D models of asthma-affected bronchus (that's the latest 'perk', and nothing whets the appetite like plastic muccous sitting on your fridge).
    Pens and pads are universal, though, like the rage. Killers for hire probably have pens made up.